Trolley Problem: Your beloved versus school children.

Situation a

On track one is a broken down school bus filled with children. The doors of the bus are stuck and as a result the children cannot be evacuated in time.

On track two is a broken down car. Your beloved is driving the car. The doors are stuck so your beloved cannot get out of the car in time.

A trolley is rapidly approaching a fork in the track. You are standing near a lever that can cause the trolley to switch tracks.

If you do not pull the lever, the trolley will go down track one and the school children will all be killed. If you do pull the lever the trolley will go down track two and your beloved will die.

Will you pull the lever?

Situation b

Situation a with one addition. The parents of several of the school children are watching you.

Will you pull the lever?

Situation c

Situation b with one addition. One of the parents has a gun to your head. If you do not pull the lever you will be shot in the head and you will die.

Will you pull the lever?

The large intestine must be a very frightening place.

I am sharing the following without context beyond saying that thus far I have had a bad morning, although I think the worst is over.

Person 1: The large intestine must be a very frightening place.
Person 2: Why do you say that?
Person 1: Because I have noticed that occasionally shit comes flying out of the anus like a bat out of hell.
Person 2: That is just diarrhea. … Of course it could also be food poisoning.
Person 1: That sounds frightening.
Person 2: It is. … You know what, you are absolutely correct. The large intestine can be a very frightening place.

BTW: I am certain that it is not food poisoning so do not worry about me.

Worst job

What is the worst job imaginable? What characteristics make a job worse than any others? Are boring meaningless jobs worse than jobs that result in you being covered in filth all the time? If a dirty job provides an essential service does that make it better than a boring meaningless job that does not require you to cope with physical discomfort?

Is there any job in existence that is worse than Redundant Peon at the Redundant Department of Redundancy?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Regnad

There is a fork in the path ahead of you. There are also two signs, telling you where each fork goes. The sign for the right fork reads “Regnad.” The sign for the left fork reads “Shortcut to Regnad.” What should you do? Inquiring minds want to know.

Being a high ranking general must be difficult.

Being a high ranking general must be difficult. One problem you may run into is that you must choose your words very carefully. Otherwise the following might happen…

General: Hands assistant cold food that needs to be reheated. “Nuke this for me.”
Assistant: “What yield of atomic bomb should I use, sir?”
General: “What are you talking about?”
Assistant: “You asked me to nuke this. I need to know what yield of atomic bomb to use.”
General: “You asshole. Nuke is slang for microwave. I want you to heat that up in the microwave for me.”
Assistant: “Sorry sir. What settings should I use?”
General: “Microwave it on high for 1 minute.”
Soldier: Very well sir!

Being a high ranking general must be difficult.

Being a high ranking general must be difficult. One problem you may run into is that you must choose your words very carefully. Otherwise the following might happen…

General: “Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure”. Stops paying attention and as a result does not hear the soldier reply.
Soldier: “Very well sir!”

…

Some time goes by. There is an atomic bomb detonation at the target that was being discussed earlier.

…

General, shouting at Soldier: “You asshole. It was just a famous quote from a famous movie. It was not an order.”

…

Hopefully there are many safeguards in place to keep this from happening in all militaries that actually have access to atomic bombs. If not, may god have mercy on us all.

Nogard

Image source: https://flic.kr/p/vjc4Rk

A man comes running up to a group of people, shouting “Run, run for your lives! There is a nogard right behind me!”

They reply, “Nogard, what is a nogard?”

In response he says “You know, an enormous, previously thought to be mythological, beast that flies and breathes fire.”

Laughing, the group of people reply, “Do you mean a dragon?”

“Yes, that is it, that is what I meant, a dragon. A dragon is right behind me! Now you really should be running for your lives!”

“What do you mean by saying a dragon is right behind you? There is no such thing as a dragon.”

He looks over his shoulder, sees the dragon approaching, screams, and runs away. Meanwhile, the group of people are laughing and joking with each other, discussing the “crazy” stranger. Seconds latter they notice that they are now in a deep shadow, something that is very unusual out in the open on a cloudless, sunny day. They look up just in time to see a great blast of fire coming from the dragon’s mouth…

Meanwhile, a mile away, the “crazy” man mutters, “I tried to warn you” as he retreats deeper into the hiding place he found, hoping that the dragon would not think to search there.