Stabby McStabber is widely regarded to be the stabbiest stabber of them all. Stabby McStabber has stabbed so many people that all the governments of the world have given up on their attempts to bring him to justice since they have lost too many armies to him.

Stabby McStabber has an arch rival, Stabby McBackStabber. Stabby McStabber believes that Stabby McBackStabber is dishonorable for stabbing people in the back. Stabby McBackStabber believes that Stabby McStabber is a fool for insisting on facing the people he stabs.

Law McLawMan has sworn to bring both Stabby McStabber and Stabby McBackStabber to justice, no matter what it takes. Unfortunately, Law McLawMan does not have the support of any governments. Law McLawMan has also sworn to bring the author of this tale, Auth McAuthor, to justice.

Gov McGovMan is actively interfering with the efforts of Law McLawMan. Gov McGovMan believes that the efforts of Law McLawMan will only get more people killed needlessly.

Ass McAssassin has on multiple occasions refused to accept a contract to kill Stabby McStabber or Stabby McBackStabber. Last month, Ass McAssassin was questioned about his refusal to go after Stabby McStabber or Stabby McBackStabber in a tavern after having a few too many drinks. While he was drunk, Ass McAssassin admitted that he will not go after Stabby McStabber or Stabby McBackStabber because he admires them both. Ass McAssassin did accept a contract to kill Auth McAuthor.

Sol McSoldier has turned against his government because he is angry at his government due to having lost too many friends as a result of pointless battles against Stabby McStabber.