Exquisite Enchanted Ass-ass-in Dagger

• Base Damage: 20 – 50
• + 100 Piercing Damage
• – 100 Damage Resistance in Target
• + 50 Poison Damage
• + 50 Acid Damage
• + 50 Necrotic Damage
• + 50 Fire Damage
• + 50 Explosive Damage
• + 50 Holy Damage
• + 5000 Additional Damage Against Dragons
• + Disfiguring Wounds Curse
• + Eternal Stench Curse
• + Eternal Impotence Curse

With the Disfiguring Wounds Curse, the Eternal Stench Curse, and the Eternal Impotence Curse, if this dagger does not kill you it adds insult to injury.

This list contains the foolish last words of many dead people.

• What could possibly go wrong?
• What’s the worst that can happen?
• Want to see something cool?
• I can make that jump.¹
• It could not possibly get any worse than this.
• It is just a minor problem.
• There is no need to worry about it.
• This is going to be fun!
• It is just a harmless animal bite.²

Can any of you think of examples that I missed?

BTW: This was inspired by a book I am reading. The main character in the book said to himself “It could not possibly get any worse than this”. An hour or so later it got much worse. Nine people died. The main character survived.

1. Contributed by one of my co-workers, Andrew Derry-Farrell. ↩︎
2. Usually not the last words spoken. However, a person who dies of rabies may say this several months before they die. ↩︎